Here is Gabor Mate, MD, author of When the Body Says No, speaking on "The Need for Authenticity" and its connection to health/ disease.
He lists these risk factors for disease:
1) automatic concern for the emotional needs of others, ignoring your own
2) compulsive identification with duty and responsibility, rather authentic self
3) suppressing, repressing "negative" emotions
4) belief that you are responsible for how others feel, and fear of disappointing them
We don't do this on purpose! No! He says this results from our adapting unconsciously, to protect ourselves.
From youtube channel science and nonduality. Listen in.
Setting limits in relationships, valuing our own feelings while staying in connection with others, wow, to me it sometimes feels rocky and uphill all the way. Are you also getting stuck on that step?
As part of my somatic training, I've learned that to get close, we first need to be able to say "no."
Let's approach the need for healthy aggression from the bottom up:
Step down first.
Stand on your two feet, your two legs.
You can't step up
till you step down.
Getting grounded connects you to your lower body as a foundation for everything above it. Your feet, legs, pelvis are right there under you, so when you're feeling, then expressing, there's a there there.
For me, and for many of my clients, it's not enough to just understand in my head. My bodywork and somatic practice supports people struggling with relationships, find agency, strength, and resilience. Finding the there in their bodies that stabilizes the response to stress. Giving voice to the "no" that hasn't always been heard.
In a typical session, we'll explore movement toward -- and away from -- whatever is coming up in the moment. Yes, we'll do that by actually moving in space in whichever direction the body leads. We'll use what's already happening rather than making it up. Memories, thoughts, images that emerge, we'll use what gets us from motion into e-motion -- or the other way around. So you can imagine that a client might be standing or seated, as well as having a chance to be horizontal on the table.
This month, I'm taking the third module of "Somatic Regulation and Resilience" with Kathy Kain and Steve Terrell, to deepen my touchwork with early developmental trauma.
Please keep your questions coming. I'm glad to be here for you -- and for me too!
I Love You -- Go Away artist Jeanne-Marie Lovell